summerofsoda

2006-09-04T16:27:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gents, as you might have guessed, this "Summer of Soda" has not gone quite as Kate and I had hoped. Though it started out peacefully enough, around July 1, it became a Summer of Writing and Revising Novels As Fast As Freaking Possible So As Not to Get Evicted Sometime Around Christmas.

That's the bad news; the good news is, we continued to drink sodas, and strange ones, too. I will upload reviews of them just as soon as I can.

Thanks for your patience; more entries coming soon.

2006-07-21T10:50:00.000-07:00

Frostop Root Beer
1 liter
plastic bottle
C-B Beverages, Hopkins, MN
cold, no ice

Yet another soda that split the judges! Will this fractiousness ever end? Have the troubles that plague the world finally entered the Eden that is Summer of Soda?

Kate called Frostop--a brand we discovered while in the wilds of southwestern Michigan--a "totally ordinary root beer." The smell, according to Kate, "hits you like a slap as soon as you open the bottle." It tastes like a root beer sucker then, thanks to the corn syrup, the flavor vanishes like a thief in the night. "All promise," Kate sniffed, "and no delivery."

On the other hand, I liked Frostop. It was very sweet, but also very foamy (surfactants?), which made it fun to drink. It had a root-y, licorice aftertaste that was present, but not overpowering. To me, Frostop is completely acceptable; it isn't as good as a Sprecher's or Fitz's, much less a cane sugar microbrewed soda like Americana or Virgil's, but it is quite nice to drink.

Final verdict: Kate didn't like it. I think she felt used. The packaging kept me from expecting too much, and within those limited parameters, Frostop satisfied.

KP: 3 of 10
MG: 6.5 of 10

2006-07-21T10:34:00.000-07:00

Stewart's Key Lime
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Stewart's Beverages, Rye Brook, NY
cold, no ice

A commenter--the indefatigable Dr. Wallass--has told us that actress Kirstie Alley drinks 16 bottles of Stewart Key Lime a day. The woman must have guts of iron! I hated hated HATED this soda. It smells and tastes like something you'd mix with water in a bucket and mop the floor with. I tasted it twice--which took devotion, folks--just to make sure it was awful, and yep, it was awful.

Kate, who I don't think has suffered head trauma but maybe so, started off by saying what a pretty limeade green it was. She called the flavor "refreshingly natural, but I can't taste Key Lime...Tastes like Rose's Lime Juice to me." (Rose's is, for those lucky enough to have avoided it, an undrinkable lime-substitute used in mixing gimlets and such.) Kate even called it "the perfect drink for a Martha Stewart-style color-coordinated luncheon." Perhaps if she were still in prison, dear. Or real limes had been eradicated by Sumatran Lime Blight. The only qualm my dear bride had was the slightness of the flavor: "It's like drinking flavored air."

Final verdict: Kate--explicably--liked it, while Mike considers it a corn-syrup substitute for Mr. Clean. Well, at least one of us would get along with Kirstie Alley.

KP: 5 of 10
MG: 0 of 10

2006-07-21T10:23:00.000-07:00

Stewart's Grape
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Stewart's Beverages, Rye Brook, NY
cold, no ice

Some sodas were bound to expose the faults in Kate's and my marriage. These next few have.

I liked Stewart's Grape. Keeping in mind that what we're calling "grape" tastes nothing whatsoever like that thing that grows on vines, is made into wine, et cetera, Stewart's Grape soda is a classic grape soda--it's a nice reddish purple, has a powerful grape odor, and a sweetness that fade into tart by the end of the swallow. My love for sodas like this is plainly genetic; when I was tasting this my Mom said, "When I was a kid, cheese popcorn, grape soda and a scary movie was my idea of a great Friday night." Mine too, Mom. Still is, in fact.

Kate, however, is no sentimentalist. She called the smell of Stewart's Grape "weapons grade" and compared it to "a fruity tear gas." She also didn't like the stickiness of it--"my lips felt gummy after just a few sips." The usual complaints were offered about the use of corn syrup and how it makes the flavor ephemeral.

Final verdict: Kate's correct to call Stewart's Grape "a thousand purple jelly beans boiled into every teaspoon." And that's just the way I liked it.

KP: 4 of 10
MG: 7 of 10

2006-07-13T15:29:00.000-07:00

Sprecher's Cream
16 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Sprecher's Brewery, Milwaukee, WI
cold, no ice

This soda smells delicious--like honey. And the first taste is equally great; it's not overpoweringly sweet, and very, very smooth. (As you might be noticing, I like my sodas chuggable. Just in case I'm overcome with a desire to chug, you understand.) What's interesting about Sprecher's Cream is that it tastes mostly like honey, but with a touch of vanilla. This is the opposite of most other cream sodas, which, if vanilla was poisonous, they'd be plutonium.

Final verdict: I'll give Kate the last word. "If I get hit on the head," she said,"and become someone who enjoys cream soda, you will have to bring me this." As you wish, my Queen.

KP: 10 of 10
MG: 10 of 10

2006-07-13T14:23:00.001-07:00

Sprecher's Root Beer
16 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Sprecher's Brewery, Milwaukee, WI
cold, no ice

One thing you have to give Sprecher's: they give you a LOT of soda for the money. They come in 16 oz bottles, whereas most sodas are only twelve. That wouldn't be a good thing if the soda inside were crappy, but thankfully it's not.

I've been a fan of Sprecher's root beer for a long time; as I've said at other times during our Summer of Soda, it's my benchmark. Tasting it again, I'm happy to say it's as good as I remember. It's exceptionally smooth, has a predominantly vanilla flavor with tinges of honey, and it has a pleasing color and head. Kate calls it "excellent," but gives it a one point deduction for the use of high fructose corn syrup. I concur.

Final verdict: An excellent root beer, about as good as we can imagine--without the unique mojo of cane sugar, that is...

KP: 9 of 10
MG: 9 of 10

2006-07-13T14:23:00.000-07:00

Sprecher's Orange Dream
16 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Sprecher's Brewery, Milwaukee, WI
cold, no ice

Sprecher's does a great root beer, and a great cream soda, but they fall down with their Orange Dream. Not much to say about this one. It's orangey, we'll give it that. And it's more drinkable than the other orange cream sodas we've tasted. But Kate found the flavor to be too emphemeral, and I didn't like the aftertaste--it seemed to "pile up" on my tongue, and not in a pleasant way. I liked the lunatic cow on the label.

Final verdict: Meh. Not awful--uncannily like baby aspirin, actually. We'd drink it again, but just barely.

KP: 5 of 10
MG: 6 of 10

2006-07-13T14:11:00.000-07:00

Gale's Root Beer "Oh Rootie!"
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Dynamic Duo, Inc., Riverwoods, IL
lukewarm, no ice

First, the good news: this cinnamon/ginger/vanilla root beer created by a Chicago-area chef is, in Kate's words, "crazy good." Now, the bad news: it's only available around Chi-town, and even there it's hard to find. We found it at an Italian deli in the basement of the John Hancock building, right off Michigan Avenue, and boy were we glad we did!

It's truly an original take on root beer, powerfully cinnamon-y where most others let vanilla or licorice flavors dominate. It had a pretty good head on it, even luke warm (we were walking around with the bottle), and a nice rich brown color. Our only quibble was this: if you're going to micro-brew a root beer, why in God's name skimp and use high fructose corn syrup instead of cane sugar? The flavor evaporated too quickly.

Final verdict: Kate says, "Everything Frostop promised but wasn't"; I, less vindictive, confine myself to "An excellent, natural-tasting root beer." If Chef Gale had used real sugar instead of the fake stuff, it would be perfect.

KP: 9 of 10
MG: 9 of 10

2006-07-08T11:12:00.000-07:00

Stewart's Cream
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Stewart's Beverages, Rye Brook, NY
cold, no ice

Nobody said the Summer of Soda would be easy. There will be casualties. All must come under the Judgment of the Tongue, the terrible, swift tongue.

Only by tasting a lot of sodas does one really figure out what one prefers. But slurping from the Siphon of Knowledge is a mixed blessing--you learn what's good, but you also learn what's crap. And sometimes, you find old favorites definitely lacking. Exhibit A: Stewart's Cream.

I'm a fan of Stewart's; I love their Orange Cream and Black Cherry sodas (at least I did before I started this odyssey). I've even had their Cream soda before without undue disgust. So I was surprised at how lame that beverage struck me today. It's very pale, so sweet my teeth throbbed, and the vanilla smell has a weird chemically sharpness. It tastes completely fake. This wouldn't bother me if it tasted incredibly good, but it doesn't, so what's the point?

Final verdict: When there is Virgil's cream soda in the world, why in God's name would you ever drink this?

KP: spared, thankfully
MG: 2.5 of 10

2006-07-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

Henry Weinhard's Orange Cream
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
cold, no ice

First of all: can we all agree that the "Olde Familye Traditione/Since 1492/Original Recipe" marketing gambit is tired and annoying? Same goes for the cute founding/discovery story, too. (I'm looking at you, Vernor's.) Henry Weinhard's Orange Cream (HWOC) is just dripping with this conceit, and it gets in the way of what is a very respectable orange soda. We value that plenty at Summer of Soda. But it isn't a piece of the True Cross, for God's sake.

I think we would all agree that the ur-Orange Cream food, the Platonic Ideal of orange-creaminss, is the Dreamsicle. HWOC does well in this regard; it smells like one. It even invokes a Dreamsicle on the neck band. Unfortunately, the taste is a little weak. It's got a nice color, though, and a foamy head, which is a nice plus. I just which it didn't taste like it was trying to hide.

Final verdict: No brewer back in Germany was making this crap back in the Renaissance, but it's a decent orange cream soda. Would I drink it again? Sure. Would I pay for it again? Only possibly.

KP: AWOL, possibly hanging out with Old World brewmeisters
MG: 5 of 10

2006-07-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

Frostie Blue Cream
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Leading Edge Brands, Temple, TX
cold, no ice

The selling point of this soda can be summed up in two words: it's blue. Really blue. As blue as the eyes of the perfect Aryan youth. It's the kind of color that, were you to pause before drinking it (in, say, the midst of a summer-long soda-tasting experience), you might have real misgivings. Just what manner of crap is one ingesting when one dances with a Frostie Blue Cream?

Best not to think about it, and if you can exercise that kind of discipline you'll find that Frostie Blue Cream soda isn't that horrible. Kate said, "This tastes like what dead four-year-olds think Windex will taste like." In other words, very sweet, sort of like cotton candy. It's a respectable--passable--cream/vanilla soda, which is good, because the taste definitely persists during the aftertaste.

Final verdict: Better than Windex, but not worth dying for either.

KP: 2 of 10
MG: 4 of 10

2006-07-05T21:45:00.000-07:00

A.J. Stephans' Black Cherry
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
A.J. Stephans, Boston, MA
cold, no ice

Kate called this "nearly perfect." So why just a "9" from our Sultry Siren of Sodapop? "I don't know how it could be better, but I'm assuming that someone, somewhere could beat it, so I'm holding the top spot open."

I'll tell you how it could be better: fewer bubbles. I was a bit put off by the carbonation, which seemed excessive, but Kate's right: the flavor of this soda is just delicious. Almost delicious enough to make up for the twerpy "tonic" thing. Bostonians can cut that out already, and take "cleansers" along with them. That may have been okay when it was just you and millions and millions of indians, but now that there's a whole country to the left of you, it's time to get over yourselves.

Still, good job on the soda.

Final verdict: Bostonians can be a pain in the ass, but they make a darned good black cherry soda.

KP: 9 of 10
MG: 8.5 of 10

2006-07-05T21:43:00.000-07:00

Pennsylvania Punch
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Natrona Bottling Co., Natrona, PA
lukewarm, no ice

From the sadists who brought you Red Ribbon Root Beer comes Pennsylvania Punch, almost an apology of a beverage. Where Red Ribbon was a licoricey punch in the soft palate, PA Punch is a completely unassuming, toddler-friendly, non-carbonated grape drink...Non-carbonated? I could swear something's prickling my tongue. Perhaps there's a micro-poltergeist in every bottle. "Pennsylvania Punch--it's Ecto-riffic!"

I didn't mind it, being no stranger to super-sweet grape sodas, but Kate actively disliked PA Punch. "I may never enter the state of Pennsylvania again, as a protest." (I won't remind her it's on the way to Manhattan.)

Final verdict: A super-sweet drink, with a bit softer taste than your usual grape soda. But nothing special, even if there ARE ghosts in it.

KP: 3 of 10
MG: 4 of 10

2006-07-05T21:40:00.000-07:00

Drizzle Banana
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Moxie Harvest Corp., Brooklyn, NY
cold, no ice

This one practically leaped into our shopping cart. Banana-flavored soda? What's next? Avocado? Drizzle looks like pee and smells like banana Laffy Taffy, but I'm only partially dreading it, because my good friend pure cane sugar is part of the mix. I'm expecting this to be swill, but could this actually be good?

(drinks)

Sorry, no. It tastes only very faintly of banana--the dominant flavor in my mouth is straight-up carbonation, like a seltzer. The aftertaste isn't bad, a bit sweet, but actually more like tapioca. The aftertaste builds in your mouth, with every swallow leaving a layer of taste; unfortunately what's left is kinda icky.

Final verdict: Points for ambition--anybody can make a cola or root beer, a banana soda is daring greatly. Too bad it wavers between "meh" and "I need to wash my mouth out."

KP: banana-phobic
MG: 3 of 10

2006-07-05T21:39:00.000-07:00

Henry Weinhard's Root Beer
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
cold, no ice

Henry W. makes up for his substandard Orange soda with this quite nice root beer. It's very, very smooth and foamy. My dad tried a swig and found it too sweet, but Kate and I both agreed that it was delicious. (I think my dad also prefers the Stones to the Beatles, which tells you something.) Weinhard's Root Beer tastes almost buttery. I taste sassafras and I approve.

Kate subtracts one point for the use of corn syrup, and another point for the lack of nuance in the flavor. She's right, it is a little thin-tasting--but had we not tasted some very assertive root beers lately (Virgil's, Americana) and unique ones, too (Gale's), Henry Weinhard's would tough to beat.

Final verdict: On its own merits, a really good root beer. The best? No. The most distinctive? Certainly not. But very good.

KP: 8 of 10
MG: 8 of 10

2006-07-05T19:18:00.000-07:00

Virgil's Black Cherry Cream Soda
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
REED'S, LLC, Los Angeles, CA
cold, no ice

I just want to say that the outset that Kate and I are not in the pay of Virgil (whoever he is). His sodas are just really, really tasty.

To me, Virgil's Black Cherry Cream soda smells like Baskin-Robbins Cherry vanilla ice cream; to Kate, it smells like Dr. Pepper. But the real attraction here is, of course, the taste, which is mostly cherry, some vanilla. The cherry taste makes this a little less complicated tasting than the straight Cream (which I think I prefer). But it's a nice cherry taste, not a harsh one. Bad cherry soda reminds me of Sucrets. This is a million miles away from that. Kate said, "I've never drank anything like this, but I'm still enjoying it." I enjoyed it, too.

Final verdict: An excellent beverage, and proof that "cherry" doesn't need to mean "synthetic, mouth-staining, and most likely cancer-causing." Will they bring out a mini-keg? Two inquiring minds want to know.

KP: 8 of 10
MG: 8 of 10

2006-07-04T23:58:00.000-07:00

Nesbitt's Strawberry
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
North American Beverages, Waco, TX
cold, no ice

Nesbitt's Strawberry is the color of red Kool-Aid, which even at this early stage of the Summer, Kate and I have both learned to fear. Bright colors like this are a warning sign, a harbinger of undrinkable sodas aimed at children, prisoners, and other captive populations.

So Kate bailed. But I think she missed a good one; Nesbitt's Strawberry surprised me. It tastes like liquified Jolly Rancher. Though the strawberry flavor has very little in common with the actual plant, it is not cloying or perfumey. It's actually pleasant. There's no aftertaste to speak of, and only the slightly heavy carbonation would keep one from chugging it.

Final verdict: Really much better than I expected. I liked this, and I'd drink it again.

KP: conscientious objector
MG: 6.5 of 10

2006-07-03T22:18:00.000-07:00

Virgil's Cream Soda
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
REED'S LLC, Los Angeles, CA
cold, no ice

Kate doesn't like cream soda; actually, that's not quite correct. She thinks it's okay, but "when you can eat creme brulee to get your vanilla fix, why drink cream soda?" I cannot argue that--but I can't eat creme brulee, or indeed anything containing the merest smidge of milk. This may explain my devotion to cream soda in general and Virgil's in particular. During the football season, when I've cracked one of their mini-kegs, I think my blood-Virgil's content may be inching towards fatal. And I don't care!

Most cream soda is pretty one-dimensional: pale-bubbly-very sweet, with a thin note of vanilla. Virgil's is a whole different beast. It looks like single malt scotch. Even better, it's got depth--the ingredients read like a model UN, and you can taste 'em all. It's still primarily vanilla, but there's also this yummy carmelization--from the carmelized pure cane sugar. Most sodas are lucky to have ONE kind of pure cane sugar; Virgil's cream has TWO. Clearly, you're in good hands here.

Final verdict: I'll give it a "9," because I believe the perfect cream soda has not been invented yet. But I'm here to tell ya, Virgil's will be tough to beat. It also comes in mini-kegs during football season, which is awwwwesome!

KP: Off eating creme brulee, I guess
MG: 9 of 10

2006-07-02T23:32:00.000-07:00

Americana Honey Lime Ginger Ale
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Orca Beverage Co., Mukilteo, WA
cold, no ice

If Kate ever leaves me for another man, I already know what he will taste like: Americana Ginger Ale.

When we uncapped it, I got a sniff reminiscent of two different kinds of Brooks Brothers aftershave (Bay Rhum and Royall Lyme). That was enticing enough for Kate, but when you add in the taste, well, I'll let her say it. "This is possibly the best ginger ale ever made...I don't know who these people are, but they've clearly sold their soul to the Devil."

Okay, okay, we get it, Kate likes it, but what does it taste like? Quite a lot like Vernor's--as with the big V, you've get to make sure not to inhale as you drink it, or the ginger fumes will cause you to cough spasmodically and sputter the soda all over yourself. But Americana is a bit lighter than Vernor's, thanks to the lime note in it; it's tasty, not palate-searing. And the pure cane sugar in Americana Ginger Ale gives it the nod over Vernor's, which uses the dreaded high fructose corn syrup.

Final verdict: A true winner. The best ginger ale ever made? Only more research will tell!

KP: 10 of 10
MG: 9 of 10

2006-07-01T23:00:00.000-07:00

Americana Root Beer
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Orca Beverage Co., Mukilteo, WA
cold, no ice

If you notice that there have been a lot of root beers so far in the Summer of Soda, it's because I (MG) do not put caffeine inside what I like to call "the temple." Oh, I want to, God how I want to, especially in the form of the hard stuff, Coca-Cola Classic. But I am already high strung enough, so I have to satisfy my dark soda cravings with root beer. (Kate, on the other hand, consumes caffeine with relish, and will be tester/taster for caffeinated entries like pure cane sugar Coke from Mexico and Cheerwine.)

Americana is a fine root beer, whether or not it's a stand in for "the hard stuff." It's got a very vanilla-y smell, and a good head. It's quite dark, almost black. Kate loved it, saying, "Even the belches tasted good." I was less satisfied, detecting a slight bitterness in the aftertaste. But that's a quibble. I think I prefer Fitz's, because I value creaminess over complexity of flavor. Or maybe I'm just a homer.

Final verdict: A good, solid root beer, worth seeking out and drinking whenever you can.

KP: 8 of 10
MG: 7 of 10

2006-06-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

A.J. Stephans' Raspberry Lime Rickey
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
A.J. Stephans, Boston, MA
cold, no ice

There are some sodas that win your heart as much by what they remind you of as how they taste. For Kate, A.J. Stephans' Raspberry Lime Rickey is one of those sodas. To her, it conjures up memories of her Chicago girlhood, specifically a drink they used to serve at Marshall Field's department store called "raspberry juice."

I, on the other hand, am never one to let my own memories cloud my palate (Fitz's Root Beer). Yet I too was charmed by A.J. Stephans' Raspberry Lime Rickey. For one thing, it's very raspberry-ey. When you open a bottle, you feel as if somebody has jammed two raspberries up your nostrils (but in a good way). Drinking it is similarly satisfying. Pure cane sugar really does seem to make a difference. The lime is there, too, but it's subtle--it sneaks up on you, during the carbonated back-kick. Kate, never one for the clumsy or cloying when it comes to food, declared without shame, "I wish it were even more flavored than it is."

Final verdict: Very good. Until Marshall Field's brings back their "raspberry juice," this'll do.

KP: 7 of 10
MG: 6 of 10

2006-06-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

Empire Spruce Beer
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Empire Bottling Works, Bristol, RI
cold, no ice

Okay, I so wanted to like this. It's just the kind of thing that I love--strange, regional, obviously someone's passion.

Unfortunately, I didn't. I couldn't even finish a small glass. Kate hated it even worse. She took one sip and bailed. "Christmas tree water," she said.

"Maybe our cats would like it," I offered. From December 15th to January 15th, none of the little furry freeloaders who live with us drink out of their water dish, preferring the sap-loaded, needle-riden Christmas tree water instead. "At least drinking Spruce Beer isn't a fire hazard." That was cold comfort for Kate. "It tastes like something you'd drink to keep from pooping."

She's right; Empire Spruce Beer tastes like Pepto-Bismol. But surely some people like that flavor, and if you do, I encourage you to seek out this beverage. Because it is strange, regional, obviously someone's passion. In this day and age, that's something to celebrate. Even if it is grody.

Final verdict: It's weird, and you'll probably hate it. But then again, Spruce Beer is exactly, unashamedly what it claims to be--a drink that tastes like beer brewed from Christmas trees. So try it--it's Pepto-riffic!

KP: 1 of 10
MG: 2 of 10

2006-06-28T21:59:00.000-07:00

Thomas Kemper's Ginger Ale
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Thomas Kemper Sodas, Seattle, WA
cold, no ice

I want to start off by saying how much I like Thomas Kemper sodas. I like their root beer, which is served at a restaurant down the street. I especially like their black cherry soda, which I've had several times as well. And both Kate and I are great fans of ginger ale. So it is with great surprise, and not a little sadness, that I must tell you that, in our opinion, Thomas Kemper Ginger Ale BLOWS.

The word that Kate used was "soapy." This is not a word you want associated with a beverage. The word I--always polite--came up with was "botanical." Whatever you call it, it added up to a soda we liked less than your garden-variety Canada Dry. Batch-brewed crap is still crap.

What went wrong? Is there such a thing as too much pure Jamaican ginger extract? Could it be the high fructose corn syrup? TKGA gave me the ol' Vernor's cough--I assume that's ginger fumes attacking the back of my throat--but utterly failed to deliver. It was neither hardcore like a ginger beer, nor brisk and snappy like common ginger ales such as Canada Dry. It was simply weak. Thoroughly, thoroughly disappointing--there is no point to this soda. Thomas--Tom--get your act together and make a ginger ale worthy of your other sodas.

Final verdict: Don't bother. Thomas Kemper's retarded child that they keep in the attic and nobody talks about. Is that too harsh? Who cares, I want my $1.89 back.

KP: 3 of 10
MG: 2 of 10

2006-06-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

Hank's Orange Soda
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Hank's Root Beer Co., Philadelphia, PA
cold, no ice

The modern world is busier than ever, so much so that no one has time for introductory sentences like this one. So I'll get right down to it: Hank's is a fine little orange soda. Not sublime--it lacks creaminess, for one thing--but it's far from something you'd throw at a raccoon. It also is the only orange soda I've ever encountered with "orange juice concentrate" listed as an ingredient. This may or may not help the flavor, but certainly gives kids a leg to stand on when begging their mothers to buy it. "Come on, Ma! It's got real orange juice in it!"

I say that Hank's Orange is basically McDonald's Orange Drink, but with carbonation. Kate disagrees, saying that's too harsh--but I like McDonald's Orange Drink. Hank's is tangy, but not chemical-harsh; it's sweet, but not a tongue shriveller. It has that licking-a-pinecone taste common to a lot of orange soda (could it be the ingredient called "ester of wood rosin"?), but not to an overpowering degree.

"I could drink another without complaint," Kate said. "Yes, but would you?" I asked. She paused, then said, "I guess I'm just not a big fan of orange soda." Friends, if you want to know what your spouse is really like--who you really married--serve them a Hank's. It's like a truth serum. (I looked for "truth serum" on the ingredients list but couldn't find it. Bush has really gutted the FDA.)

Final verdict: This nice little soda is the exact shade of my buddy Hank's hair. Coincidence? The world just doesn't work like that, friend.

KP: 6 of 10
MG: 6 of 10

2006-06-26T10:46:00.000-07:00

Milca Red Soda Pop
12 fl. oz.
aluminum can
Milca Bottling Co., Miami, FL
cold, no ice

Michael took one sip and lost all ability to continue. Pffft. Amateur. So it falls to me to soldier on.

The label on the can says it all: Soda Roja/Red Soda Pop. Not cherry, not strawberry, not watermelon. Red. The nose is pungently chemical, like all the falsest notes of Starburst cherry and strawberry, blended into a thin, artificial vapor. As a drink, it's pretty much without a single redeeming quality. It's a garish laboratory potion red, it packs a violently fizzy punch and it tastes ... red.

The only positive attribute is a certain nostalgic quality--Milca Red Soda Pop is composed of the same chemical pastiche as the Official Summer Drink of the Powers family, Faygo Red Pop. Which, in its way, is one of the inspirations behind the Summer of Soda. Like most moms, mine believes in dosing small children with massive amounts of milk. But we spent our summers in rural southwestern Michigan, far from the weekly milk deliveries of Chicago, or even a convenient grocery store. So for three months every year, we were allowed to drink soda with dinner, so the two gallons of milk in the fridge would last from Saturday to Saturday.

By the way, I checked Galco's shelves thoroughly, and I'm sorry to say that there will be no reviews of Faygo brand Red Pop, or the oddly named Rock 'n Rye, or any other flavors, unless a Powers sibling decides to submit a review of their own.

Final verdict: "'Soda Roja' is Spanish for 'soda that freakin' blows'"--MG

KP: 0 of 10
MG: Conscientious Objector

2006-06-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

Fitz's Root Beer
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Fitz's, University City, MO
cold, no ice

I grew up in St. Louis--Clayton, U. City, and the Central West End--and Fitz's Root Beer is brewed in the heart of my old stomping grounds. In fact, it's just down the street from one of my favorite movie houses in the world, the Tivoli; the Tivoli was where I first saw many of my favorite movies (and where I probably got my first contact high to boot!). So I admit, I was predisposed to like Fitz's. Take that into account when I say that Kate and I loved this root beer.

It's extremely smooth and creamy. Its dominant flavor (and scent) is sarsparilla--at least that's what we thought it was. It wasn't licorice (thank God! I'm still having nightmares about Red Ribbon), or honey, or vanilla. Anyway, it was very pleasant. The color was also nice--a dark, carmelly gold.

There wasn't much of a head, but we'd made the mistake of pouring it into glasses that were still warm from the dishwasher. I drank my glass quickly it was so yummy, and Kate wasn't far behind. I look forward to comparing Fitz's to my old Chicago favorite (actually brewed in Milwaukee, I believe) Sprecher's. Two root beers will enter, but only one will leave.

Final verdict: Creamy, smooth, and pleasantly root-y--really good.

KP: 7 of 10
MG: 7 of 10

2006-06-24T23:01:00.000-07:00

Fentiman's Mandarin and Seville Orange Jigger
275 ml
glass bottle
Fentimans Ltd, Newcastle-upon-Tyne
cold, no ice

I must admit, I bought this for the bottle--it's got a very pleasing Edwardian typography to it. Plus, it's called a "Jigger." Very Jeeves and Wooster.

The smell, upon uncapping, is exactly that of off-brand orange juice, the from-concentrate cheap-o kind you buy when you're in your first apartment and have vague notions of taking care of yourself, but want to save money whenever possible.

The taste is quite similiar to Orangina, but as Kate said, "Orangina from some other country, like black-market Cantonese knock-off Orangina that isn't quite right." Fentiman's is murky (all-natural), and the ginger kick is weird and unexpected. But unlike a lot of orange-based sodas, at least it has some relationship to the round things that grow on trees. The ingredients include something called "speedwell" and juniper extract. I noted, after drinking it, that the label says, "Not more than 0.5% alcohol by volume." Anything to hook in the preteens, I guess. "Dude, I am SOOOO drunk." "You are not." "No, really--I'm wasted! I just drank 34 Fentiman's!" "Shut up!" "You shut up!"

"This just in:" Kate emails me, "an aftertaste strongly reminiscent of citrus-flavored vitamin C pills. After a small glass, my tongue feels weirdly desensitized. After a whole bottle, I think my tongue would be completely numb to any kind of sweet/tart flavor. Not ideal." Having consumed a whole bottle, I can attest to this: my tongue is lolling in my mouth like a dead cod. (Then again, maybe I'm drunk.)

Final verdict: Kate says, "I can imagine drinking it again, but I can't imagine wanting to."

KP: 5 of 10
MG: 4.5 of 10

2006-06-23T17:24:00.000-07:00

Red Ribbon Root Beer
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Natrona Bottling Company, Natrona, PA
cold, no ice

A globe-trotting friend of mine said last week apropos of root beer, "Isn't it funny that Europeans consider it to be like medicine?" At the time, I didn't quite follow him--Sprechers, Virgils and Thomas Kemper Root Beer are no strangers to our 'fridge, and none of those worthy concoctions ever struck me as mediciney.

Red Ribbon, however, is exactly that kind of prescription-strength root beer: dark, nearly black, with no head to speak of, and carbonation that attacks the soft tissues of your mouth like angry piranhas. The flavor is licorice and nothing but, which intensifies the more you consume, until licorice occupies your entire consciousness (which is just as pleasant as it sounds). Kate detected a very sweet aftertaste--I detected the beginnings of a stomach ache.

There are some sodas that you have to grow up drinking to enjoy, and I think Red Ribbon Root Beer is one of them. Does anybody know anyone from Natrona, PA? Are they a little...weird? Tetched in th' haid? Do they stink of licorice? Is Red Ribbon a foot-soak and they're not telling us?

Final verdict: Red Ribbon had better be curing something, because as a soda it tastes like ass.

KP: 4 of 10
MG: 4 of 10

2006-06-22T21:07:00.000-07:00

Pangleheimer's Gourmet Blush
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Pangleheimers, Charlotte, NC

pretty cold, no ice

Kate's not here tonight, shirking her soda-tasting duties for a night of debauchery with the Ladies of USC Film School. So the burden falls upon my tongue alone. I will not let you down--THIS I SWEAR!

Gotta be honest: I've totally forgotten what kind of soda this is, and the blush color gives me little clue. Raspberry? Cherry? Or maybe they've gone wacky and made it birch beer? Let's open it and find out...

Okay, the cap twists off with a pneumatic puff you'd expect from a carnival ride or other piece of heavy machinery. The smell that comes out is exactly like the "red" color of those long, plastic tubes of frozen sugar-water I'd always beg Mom to get me in the grocery store. Then she got me one, and it burned my mouth it tasted so awful. Not exactly sweet, just sort of...red and cough-inducing.

This soda is much better than that. Maybe I was bracing for a punch in the tongue, but I have to say I was surprised at how little flavor there was. It's vaguely berry--sometimes so vaguely that I tasted a lot more carbonation. When I took a really, really big gulp I think I tasted a tiny bit of cinnamon, but don't hold me to that. Pangleheimer's Gourmet Blush is not bad--but it's not really anything. If I poured this on the ground, I doubt any ants would bother.

The berry flavor does intensify as you continue drinking, and I would have no problem finishing the bottle. This is a soda for an adult palate, with the lack of intensity you usually find in the natural sodas at Whole Foods. It's the NPR of sodas, and if you gave it to a kid, he'd probably spit most of it at his friend. There's a reason why Orange Nehi is still in business.

Final verdict: Berry-ey. Inoffensive. Carbonated like they were trying to get rid of the gas.

KP: AWOL, possibly drunk
MG: 5.5 of 10

2006-06-21T22:30:00.000-07:00

Apple Beer
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Apple Beer Corp, Salt Lake City, Utah

pretty cold, no ice

To indulge in a stereotype for just a moment, it doesn't surprise me a bit that famously teetotaling Salt Lake City would come up with some great sodas. Apple Beer ("Non-Alcoholic") boasts that it is made from a Bavarian brewing process; Bavarian-Schmavarian, all we know is, it's yummy. It tastes a little like everyone's favorite 12-Step friendly champagne-substitute Martinelli's carbonated apple juice. Apple Beer's quite fizzy, and the flavor is very clear: apples, with a hint of vanilla smacking you in the ass on its way out.

Kate called it "an artisanal fruit cooler...something like you'd get at Charlie Trotter's" (a frou-frou restaurant in Chicago where the chef likes to make his own drinks and ice cream). Apple Beer is made with 100% pure cane sugar, which is reputed to give a special mojo to sodas that use it instead of high-fructose corn syrup. Time and tasting will tell.

Apple Beer has a charming little website here. Their slogan sounds kinda dirty ("The soft drink with a head"), which may explain why it's celebrating its 100th birthday. I'll let Kate have the final word: "Next time we go to Galco, I'm getting some more!"

KP: 6/7 of 10
MG: 7 of 10

2006-06-20T22:46:00.000-07:00

Nehi Orange
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Royal Crown Bottling

slightly cooler than room temperature

We decided to ease into our Summer, starting out with a bonafide classic. Upon opening, this sneakily carbonated soda (more about that later) gives off a powerful whiff of candy. Kate said, "It's so orange, it could be melted jello." Then she drank it and was even more convinced. "I'm troubled by how intensely orange it is." Kate's right--this orange does not exist in Nature.

I found it sort of "bitey" on my tongue, probably from the carbonation, which doesn't seem too heavy, but leaves a gassy, slightly bitter taste. "The flavor is gone almost immediately," Kate observed, but then later noted an aftertaste that "seems like it'll leave a coat of crud on my teeth." For some reason, it tasted much better out of the bottle than from a glass; that's probably just psychological. I can't imagine Orange Nehi tasting very good under any circumstances.

The final verdict: "I'll never drink it again," Kate said with great conviction. I probably could, but only under some really specific circumstances, like on a really hot day, when the soda's really cold, or with a hot dog at the ball game. But with that much sugar in my system, I'd probably toss the empty bottle at an ump...and Orange Nehi certainly isn't worth going to jail for.

KP: 3 of 10
MG: 4 of 10