Red Ribbon Root Beer
12 fl. oz.
glass bottle
Natrona Bottling Company, Natrona, PA
cold, no ice

A globe-trotting friend of mine said last week apropos of root beer, "Isn't it funny that Europeans consider it to be like medicine?" At the time, I didn't quite follow him--Sprechers, Virgils and Thomas Kemper Root Beer are no strangers to our 'fridge, and none of those worthy concoctions ever struck me as mediciney.

Red Ribbon, however, is exactly that kind of prescription-strength root beer: dark, nearly black, with no head to speak of, and carbonation that attacks the soft tissues of your mouth like angry piranhas. The flavor is licorice and nothing but, which intensifies the more you consume, until licorice occupies your entire consciousness (which is just as pleasant as it sounds). Kate detected a very sweet aftertaste--I detected the beginnings of a stomach ache.

There are some sodas that you have to grow up drinking to enjoy, and I think Red Ribbon Root Beer is one of them. Does anybody know anyone from Natrona, PA? Are they a little...weird? Tetched in th' haid? Do they stink of licorice? Is Red Ribbon a foot-soak and they're not telling us?

Final verdict: Red Ribbon had better be curing something, because as a soda it tastes like ass.

KP: 4 of 10
MG: 4 of 10