Fentiman's Mandarin and Seville Orange Jigger
275 ml
glass bottle
Fentimans Ltd, Newcastle-upon-Tyne
cold, no ice

I must admit, I bought this for the bottle--it's got a very pleasing Edwardian typography to it. Plus, it's called a "Jigger." Very Jeeves and Wooster.

The smell, upon uncapping, is exactly that of off-brand orange juice, the from-concentrate cheap-o kind you buy when you're in your first apartment and have vague notions of taking care of yourself, but want to save money whenever possible.

The taste is quite similiar to Orangina, but as Kate said, "Orangina from some other country, like black-market Cantonese knock-off Orangina that isn't quite right." Fentiman's is murky (all-natural), and the ginger kick is weird and unexpected. But unlike a lot of orange-based sodas, at least it has some relationship to the round things that grow on trees. The ingredients include something called "speedwell" and juniper extract. I noted, after drinking it, that the label says, "Not more than 0.5% alcohol by volume." Anything to hook in the preteens, I guess. "Dude, I am SOOOO drunk." "You are not." "No, really--I'm wasted! I just drank 34 Fentiman's!" "Shut up!" "You shut up!"

"This just in:" Kate emails me, "an aftertaste strongly reminiscent of citrus-flavored vitamin C pills. After a small glass, my tongue feels weirdly desensitized. After a whole bottle, I think my tongue would be completely numb to any kind of sweet/tart flavor. Not ideal." Having consumed a whole bottle, I can attest to this: my tongue is lolling in my mouth like a dead cod. (Then again, maybe I'm drunk.)

Final verdict: Kate says, "I can imagine drinking it again, but I can't imagine wanting to."

KP: 5 of 10
MG: 4.5 of 10